Cupcakes. and radishes

by ::leslie jill helpert º≠º

supported by
Michael Reilly
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Michael Reilly Gentle and hypnotically inventive acoustic ballads, delivered with Leslie's distinctly soulful vocals. Masterful strumming is intelligently interwoven with complex but insightful lyrics from a storyteller with plenty to say. Favorite track: laborers of myth.
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don't wait for me i might be long stop you're thinking i know what you mean i'm so far gone. but it would be nice to sit in silence as strangers impossible light shine elsewhere. or even more blessed to just bare witness to your solitude. I'm so far gone. this sweet and sour life my heart has no right to play God. But I have had dreams of life in a Gold Chair I would not curse the land with an expression of right from wrong I'd just let the song bird fly to my hand I'd just let the song bird fly To My Hand. Some say Life is a waiting room. I don't know what we're waiting on. To stand in line with my empty bag for the emperor to hand in the seams of the dreams I did not sew and leave the rest for the laborers of myth they'll always make up how our story goes they're ravenous just looking at us. Don't let them make up how our story goes! Don't let them make up our sweet story, how our story goes.
3.
i don't want to stay here forever i just want to make right my mind a reverie of wasted hours looking back. things i know are superstitions i still think of them as mine "the water's soft," you said "let's get in." looking back. in the snowfall i was designed in the snowfall i was designed designed designed by you a snowflake when my little backwards words back out of here, you'll see. the sense from the second i saw you was that I'd be persuaded to renegotiate the feeling of reason flying like a blind pig i wish i had written down the whole dream so when it happened i'd be more prepared to think, at the last, i AM a Lady I ain't no rubberband. in the snowfall i was designed in the snowfall i was designed designed spelling little letters backward, sometimes there is a pattern here, it's drowning in philosophy when my little backwards words back out of here, you'll see. "If i have made any intricate imperfect things chiefly which wrong your mind songs less firm than your body's song upon my mind Let the world say, let the world say what it will and all" how fragile yet frosty a thing is the one designed in the snow fall.
4.
do you know the difference 'tween good 'n what we had? good'll gobble up like Cookie in a Bag. good'll keep you floating off the bottom of the ocean good'll rock you like a baby baby we're no good when we rock we make an avalanche. i tell you how i miss you it's like missing make believe clinging to a cliff wall when you know you'll fall from naivete. coming up for air to find none there you were deceived you got no more life in your tires. baby when we breathe we make god perspire. everyone i know 'round here knows this the swimming hole is deep swing on the rope right off the cliff the water's gonna catch you baby that's the juice of the earth's kiss you can't think twice when you dive you scramble in the wind like the wind pushed you in and you can't swim and you don't know where to hide. baby let me sink with you drown let me drink with you down to the depth of your personal mess i left my bag in there where you don't get no air i wanna talk baby language to your most unlearned places.
5.
i write so i don't bleed it's kinda like a band-aid you put on before you're cut some man said we don't need no books or no literacy to live right and a jehova witness got up from his chair with his bible and left when he said that well i don't know what that man would think about me and my love of cold flat pressed black ink. cold flat pressed black ink cold flat pressed black ink you and i no longer meet but if we did we'd arrange the clouds in lines of poetry like two cyclone simile. i draw so that we don't budge from the thick texture smoke of our bodies' smudge we had to get up so i made an outline with the charcoal of my eyes and now we're always making love in the rainy dusk rising. i'm never gonna say goodbye to you. worst I'll do is till you til your soul is soil in my garden i'm growing vines, vines of lines, lines of lyric, lyrical rhymes. cold flat pressed black ink cold flat pressed black ink i never been a folk singer i never sang about nothing i know i never really truly knew what i thought. way back when i'd be better off playing a saxaphone muting my sharp words through complex motifs getting goatee clad sheddin' jazz cats off. i drive so that i don't stay it's better off baby, better off this way. we were only living together to afford cheap rent. but our heart's spent, our heart's spent. here you come flying to me here you come flying now. and like a bird's got his worm danglin' you got a box of them black-capped dreams. here you come flying, here you come flying now. ink running all over your arms and legs, baby you are motion, baby you are motion in poetry. and i can't stay, i can't stay--- lord knows I can't stay spices and treasures made proud boats sink, but i think it well worth it for the cold cold ink sticks and stones broke an old crone's bones, crusty crowns and thrones die hard alone, but nothing hurt no one from a Bold Love Poem.... and it gets it out it gets it out. And boy, Now it's Gone.
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07:10
My truth is so deep it'd take years to excavate to its core and when it is revealed most probably you won't be around anymore. My person's like a Gun I carry it in the pocket of my pants like a weapon underneath the pants i am protecting the flower of my soul. Sweet in between The Flesh of Yes and No Comes the Hips which open like Umbrellas in an international unheard anthem. My baseness my bluntness my quick rapidity to nail you down and raise you up like a tied flag is my wasted inspiration just one idea that came impulsively misfired misfired to Kiss you. To Kiss You Paper in the wind News revolts from Clutched hands and reverts back again to the open sky of no commentary or opinion To Kiss You Logic Weeps Yet is swept in the sweep of its own reason wept I will hang my hang later for the Haughty clouds None the less dearish, I ravish you now. A moment more and I am privy to your every need I resign this self-investment to cater to your seed I will not again go hungry I will not again need sleep You, my tobacco flower, fill my lungs and I breathe. I will never write poetry like the shape of your mouth and no poetry will transform and spit me out like it is To Kiss You To Kiss You Paper in the wind News revolts from clutched hands and reverts back again to the open sky of no commentary, opinions To Kiss You Logic Weeps Yet is swept in the sweep of its own reason wept I will hang my head later for the haughty clouds none the less dearish i ravish you now. To Kiss You Paper in the wind News revolts from clutched hands and reverts back again to the open sky of no commentary or opinion To Kiss you Yes Logic Weeps Yet is swept in the sweep of its own reason wept I will hang my head later for the haughty clouds none the less my dearish I will ravish you now. You Are The Dearish. You Are The Dearish To Me. You Are The Dearish.
8.
05:35
i share with the sky about what i like when i like i don't expect you to understand honey i watched that helium thing leave my hand. just forget about it. if you need a reference darling a proof of your strength darling i'll tell it like confucius said to be that firm is to be dead. i lie to you when i talk just by opening my mouth just by opening my mind cuz there's nothing left nothing in here but one strong single thread holding me up long silky and fine. if you need a reference darling a proof of your strength darling I'll tell it like confucius said to be that firm is to be dead. I share with the sky all the stories i swore to keep in secrecy and when our eyes meet in the day there are no longer words to begin what i've got to say. If you need a reference darling a song for what you've sewn Me, for example, proves how in the dark one still grows left alone by you.
9.
I know You Don't Want This anymore You Say You're Scared to just let Go I'm driving through over the mississippi tonight the heat's on but outside it's 85. I think that we take it along two ruff-riders rambling in song I don't think you've done me wrong not really. the twin cities like obelisk rise from flat farm-land country side. pass their shit south on 35 on where the fuck am I? Des Moines by morning my eyes rest on nothing I hit Kansas what is this I just woke up on the road. I think that we take it along we're two bad villains lascivious in song I don't think you've done me wrong I was born wrong. Before I make sense here the strange picture fades. Years reckoned by time beckon on their little legs to be carried away. And I'm mid-west almost through Colorado by night fall this time tomorrow I'll reach the coast I'll drive it over the edge my love I'm not scared to let this thing go. I think that we take it along we float what we know we drown in our song there is no clear right from wrong here just play it my love, dear, until it's gone sing it out strong and clear get in there, go on show up for what you fear until it gets along. Get along, get along ruff rider, get along. Mamma said OH You're so difficult to please I fall on my knees You don't know how easy You Could Please me.
10.
He was a good boy but his mamma wanted more for him then she had for herself so she took him to the side of the road at 11 months old and said "go on, walk it, little child, come back when you know more than your mother". So he walked til found a pegasus moth and they rode away under her wing and she took him to the sand-drip castle where she came from and he stayed there for 7 cycles of the sun round the sky and when he left he could almost fly so he went to go find his mother, but his mom had run off with a chariot brother so He took keep of his house at 7 years old it was overrun with cats and birds that flew in and out the window. But he was a good boy so the town people took care of him and he showed them all how to almost fly and they walked around pretending the earth was the sky but it more like dancing and the king got very mad cuz his noble knights were all just dancing, and he said to the boy "my knights no longer care to fight--- it's best you leave, you're a good boy, but we don't like you here." but, he was a good boy, so he caught a chariot just like his momma did, and he left that town before he was hung and he got to a new town in two rising suns and the people there already knew how to dance and they sang as well at every given chance and he became the dress maker for the queen and one day fitting her she took off everything.... she said "I know I'm the queen, but I just can't find a king... You got very skillful hands let's sell my wedding ring and run off into the night, and see what becomes of us." But.... he was a good boy and that sounded dangerous to him and though the queen was mighty beautiful, she was a little too one-dimensional. He said "your offer is generous indeed, but I can't imagine embarrassing the king.. and the whole majesty--- darling, you should use your imagination, why don't you Cross the Moat, bare the crocodiles, use your imagination...." But you'd never believe the queen had him ostracized using her lovely imagination, and so he caught a ride to an island by working on a boat, and when he landed in the sand, he picked it up in his hand- and when he looked into his palm---he saw that he'd gathered a Gigantic Diamond... and he bought the ship right there with that ---and he set said for distant lands, he set sail for very distant lands. But one night he cried to the wind "I've got no home" one night he cried to the wind "I've got no home" But he was a good boy so the wind picked him up in a gigantic gust and as he whipped in wild spirals the wind whispered "Trust Me, Boy... I know what it's like to have no home" the wind whispered "I know what it's like to have no home". This is an ancient Mariner tale- you've got to learn to Sail.
11.
Seems that I traded in my imagination For whatever the odometer reads Me and my level head we look ahead with the cruise control set just a little over speed I don't think I knew you at all You gave me a sign about as fleeting as these here on the highway that I blow by. What is there to say I did not say better before when your ears were open as wide as the door you opened when you said "take your things and bring to me no more" I am not so sure you knew me at all I passed by like a high-tail speed chase intense-in-the-moment-but-forgotten-upon-waking-dream. My heart cannot rest at night it is fervent in affair with the moon the two take shape as just one when they catch site of each other's adoration I just watch from where I'm stationed. When I small, yea- The Day Before Tomorrow-- I thought Love was a tuber that cracked the earth when ripe- and birthed into each set of lovers a legend rich in lore, that surpassed in every case any other tale told before. And I know I did not know you at all. But I knew the lines around you but I never found you in-between them, that's for sure. My windshield wipers they are barely rockin back and forth upon the glass it seems I traded in my imagination for a change of oil and a tank of gas and I know you've little reason to know me now but all the same I feel you like a poker in my fire, in my flame though our element of love has returned to from where it came still I'm medicated by your essence so live in the presence of the south land rain. My heart cannot rest at night it is fervent in affair with the moon the two take shape as just one when they catch site of each-other's adoration and I just watch from where I'm stationed, Do you?
12.
06:02
if i could count every tear i cried over you baby the river is wide wider than an ocean with mountains at its side you'd have to climb over just to catch me in the wake of my own tide. in a secret little room behind a heavy hidden door at the end of a hall off a fabled missing floor in a ghost house you'd have to wake in a dream and take charge of where you are to find the key to the room that keeps me. like a fancy glass i was made to break in your arms you're the wrong road to take off the map i get lost on. don't say nothing bout the father's only son he walked around proud from the day he first was born til he caught the front-line fire at the sound of the bugle horn it took the spark from his eye so he put it in his gun that's how the west was won and how a young man learned then about life. it was 1492 and you grabbed my thick white skin like the wide plane in your hand under your breath said "fools rush in" but the gold was in the knowing.... you were the queen of england's lover taking cover from the king killing anything that crossed your path waiting on her to beg you back. like a paper tack i was made to post your name with the red of my blood blue from a lack of breath and the white's the part that you've erased. but if i could count every tear i cried over you baby the river is wide wider than a mountain with rock cliff at its side you'd have to be clever just to venture off the peak see from where my heart beats my heart beats.... crying wider than a river a river a river alight alive and thirsty who begs you to forgive her who proves the only truth to seeks is mercy crying wider than a river a river alive alight and thirsty who begs you to forgive her who licks your wounds and everything who proves the only truth to seek is mercy. crying wider than a river a river alight alive and thirsty who begs you to forgive her who licks your wounds and everything who sings to you in shades and hues of mercy.
13.
"i got nothing to offer you nothing to offer you i'm just another boy who don't brush his teeth it's not about hygiene, it's worse, it's political." "can't you at least get a song," he said "a song to sing. Can't you at least get a song to carry your losses, your particular losses, you unusual lady, I guess that's why- you gotta write your own." he said "I've got a song," he said "I've got a song to sing. It's three-blind-mice, it's Jack-and-Jill, I sing it for my own, too. I sing for myself," that's what he was saying "cuz, he said, I got nothing to offer you." but you're just like a beggar; you're just like a queen. let me define you for the mile you vulnerable honey, then I'll leave you to the wolves, leave you to the wolves, mention me to them- they might cut you a discount or something." "can't you at least get a song, to carry your losses--- I wanna end that sentence with your name but the shape won't roll off my tongue." I said---"I know what you mean" "no you don't" "Yes I do" "No you don't" "okay- well I feel what you're saying--- I want to end that sentence with your name but my mouth won't give it out, it's candy." You think I keep slappin' my strings I just sit here slappin' my strings that I'm bitter and I bank off being bitter that I plan to earn a fortune at my own expense that the ware on my tires is of the consequence or maybe you think I'd be short on inspiration. I'm no travel agent baby I'm not gonna book you on no flight of Rhymes. That do you no justice that constrain your proportions I'm not gonna crucify your beauty like that. You don't even sit comfortably in my compositional phrase I couldn't bare to try you on my flesh again. You think I keep slappin my strings I just sit here slappin my strings to ease humiliation with self-righteousness. Can't you at least get a song a bucket, a basket How does it feel to be inside of my lyric a basket a bucket a short song for you I struck it goes There ain't No Where From Here To Go and then Promptly ends, So Goodbye. "I look forward to your record to your record I do Send it to my mother, send it under cover cuz" he said, "I've got nothing to offer you."

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released January 1, 2004

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::leslie jill helpert º≠º New York, New York

<---a non-deductive anachronymph, meaning, mostly "of a chronologically inconsistent hemimetaboly". she makes candy out of earthsap, rudders and thunder ----->

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